Just recently I have begun to see what my future will look like. It might not be as glamorous as I would like to imagine but it definitely isn’t a life that I would regret. All I know is that I finally got my priorities settled and that includes the many decisions that I will be making in the future. Looking back at the dream lists or to-do-lists that I have written in the past they were all catered to one goal — to succeed, career-wise and have enough money in the future for me to splurge on the things I didn’t get to have or do before and with enough money left in the bank, investments and others in case of emergencies. Even before I have always known what I really wanted and what would really make me happy as a person. I just got disillusioned for a while but somehow I got right back on track. As they always say, what is meant to be will be.
It’s funny how much I have tried to incline myself to the wishes and desires of the majority when I have always tried to become a rare piece of gem — a singularity that can only appear once in a lifetime. And yet, there I was trying hard to get the one thing that I thought would make me feel special and content when all the while I was just following a bandwagon of beliefs that I myself do not even believe in. No wonder I was so unhappy. Now I am unafraid to be different, to be able to speak my mind although many would frown upon my thoughts all because they are not the will of the majority. I’ve always disliked democracy, it’s too inefficient all because most of the time what the majority believes in is most likely false. When majority of the people think it’s true doesn’t always mean that it really is. Just like History, stories written most of the time by the winning side only. How can we then discern the truth behind these stories when the other side gets shrouded in secrecy and mystery? I always knew that deep inside my happiness wasn’t like the happiness that others want or dream to have. It was a unique kind of happiness and many do not understand that. In an attempt to please people and be inducted into the crowd because I didn’t want to be lonely, I fooled myself in believing the same things as they did. I was completely mistaken. I never became happy, despite being one with the crowd I so wished to become a part of. I wasn’t one of them, that much is true. I know that now.
Therefore from this moment forward I culminate my day of rebirth, the start of the new page of my life as I embark on a never-ending mission to uphold the things I believe in, even if the world would turn its back on me. Even if many pressure me to do a thing I still do not want to do and be someone I still don’t think I could be, I will stand strong and become the lone tree that withstands the gush of the wind. Today, tonight, tomorrow, the day that I will always remember that for now, I am glad that I am who I am and glad that I am free.