You know, Tatanga-tanga (2/17/2015)

“Para sa umibig, nasaktan ngunit umibig pa rin. You know, tatanga-tanga.” (Opening lines, That Thing Called Tadhana)

I now have two posts in this blog that is related to this now trending movie but I couldn’t help it. The lines and lessons that you get from this movie are definitely eye openers for the new generation of lovers out there. By lovers I don’t mean just those who have partners in life (spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc.). I also include those who love yet unrequited. These people are still lovers in a sense because they are the ones who love without asking for anything in return.

I open with this above quoted line from the movie because it strikes me through the heart most among the many lines that I can quote from this movie. Dedicating almost half of your life to someone who doesn’t know and (most) probably doesn’t care is indeed a perfect description of this word = “tanga”.

I started this blog almost two years ago, on the eve of someone’s birthday. My own secret way of greeting that person on a very special day. I was “tanga”. Now, almost two years to the date, I’m still posting about that person but now I’ve decided that this will be the last one. I once decided last year that I would quit and move on but recently, it looks like the feelings are coming back. Now, why is that? What triggered it all? Maybe it was the Valentine fever that was happening all around me or the fact that I almost saw that person again. I really don’t know the answer. Point is, it came back. And there in lies the problem. It came back when it shouldn’t have, when I thought I had finally moved on. It came back. Yes, “tatanga-tanga” indeed.

I realized that it was just me who was the root problem of it all. Nobody has encouraged me to hold on, not my family, not my friends, no one. Just me. Silly old me who still holds on to a small glimmer of hope but that hope is fading once again. I needed to decide once and for all to quit and stop. This post will be my disclaimer to the whole world, my public announcement. I am quitting. Like what Mace said at the end of the movie: “Kakalimutan ko na siya.”

Looks like I needed that “soul-searching” that Mace did before she finally decided to let go. I needed the time and the hurt. I did not go to Baguio or Sagada, but I might soon with my friends on our little #ThatThingCalledTadhana trip but I need not wait till then. I have decided. No more, “tatanga-tanga” moments for me. I’ll let it go and if fate decides that we’ll meet again I’d greet that person with a smile because I know that on my part I have moved on. No regrets. I no longer need the answers to my questions.

Your non-action speaks louder than any confession I could get from you and though the same hurts more than mere words I think I needed the pain to fully realize that it really is not worth it. My soundtrack has changed from “Hanggang Ngayon” to “Tuloy Pa Rin” and indeed the latter song just sounds happier and less bitter.

So para sa lahat ng umibig, nasaktan ngunit umibig pa rin. Mga tatanga-tanga.* Wake up. You definitely deserve better.

*(credits to the movie: That Thing Called Tadhana)

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