Freedom (10/28/2015)

Medyo nasayangan lang ako sa fact na delayed ako ggraduate pero something inside me is telling me that I really need to drop this subject. First time I’d be tainting my scholastic record since I started school so it’s really heartbreaking but hey, I’m not perfect. Sorry to disappoint you guys. I’m apparently not the perfect student you thought I am, in fact, I never was. I’ve never been studious. I hate exams. I hate academics but people think otherwise. Well, now’s probably the time to debunk everything that people thought about me. But even if I do get delayed, it won’t be such a big deal since I’ve technically graduated and can work anytime I want. Law school is just a superfluous vindication of me wanting to achieve more in life by becoming a professional. But hey, I can live without it right? The truth is I’m a bit sad right now because this will be the first time that I gave up on my academic responsibilities and ironically, the reason for me doing so is not even at all related to the academic aspect. You’ll see why in a while.

Imagine: instead of a 1 and 1/2 hour class for two days a week you are ‘obliged’ to attend an 8 hour class on a Saturday, a 1 and 1/2 hour class on Friday and now, a ‘probably’ another 4 hour class on a Thursday. This is just for a 3 unit subject per week. Add to that, whenever there’s a holiday, we are ‘encouraged’ (but in reality mandated) to hold another 8 hour long class… ON A HOLIDAY! The only deterrent I know of is a class suspension made by the LGU due to storms and floods. Also, come APEC summit (that almost week long vacay all students are looking forward to?) No can do with his professor. She declared, we’re going to have classes! I don’t know whether that would be everyday of that week but that definitely is a strong possibility. With this scenario, it’s as if she’s the only class we have for this semester.

There are actually a few exemplary people who can survive and did but I don’t think I’d be willing to sacrifice that much of my time and health for one subject alone. Especially since I’m the type of person who needs my rest and recreation or else I get burned out. This type of education is definitely not for me. Academically wise I know I’m capable of passing her subject (personal assessment based on my standing) but I know that if I pushed through I’d just be miserable in the end. Sure, if I pass I’d probably forever hold that badge of honor on my shoulder but no, I’d rather have my sanity intact than to fight for an honor I don’t even need and doesn’t even matter to most people anyway. Yes being a survivor in this class is definitely a great feat for people in my college but outside, it’s just small talk. So I’m getting my well-deserved freedom back. Come Friday this week, the perfect all-A student everyone presumed me to be will be gone! Goodbye to the ‘supposed’ intellectual that I am. Being that held up in that pressurized ivory tower has been my trap ever since. People like me whom others see as capable of achieving great things just because of smarts are never content and never happy. I realized that way back but I had no way of escaping it. The pressure and the expectations of everyone. It’s stiffening to some point but now I can openly declare that sorry to disappoint everyone, I’m not really intellectual at all! Never was, never will be and I’m glad to be average. Sometimes being an average person actually makes you happier than others. I’m content to say that I’m not intelligent (compared toy law school classmates) and I may be average but I am happier. Happy people are the best people. They are actually better at dealing with life than others. So as between success and happiness, I’d always choose the latter. (Which the past me would never do, times have indeed changed)


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