Why I Always Liked Kontrabidas and Their Roles

Most people have probably heard of the 4 temperaments test. Basically, you answer a set of questions and the results will tell you what basic temperament you belong to (usually your dominant trait and your next dominant one). If you watch ‘Divergent’, it’s almost the same. There are four basic types: Choleric, Melancholic, Sanguine and Phlegmatic. You can read about these types here: The Four Temperaments or take the test and know yours here: Four Temperaments Test. They also say that your temperament can vary overtime. Take a couple of years and try the test again and there is a possibility that you’ll get a different one. This only shows that eve personalities change. As for me, I’ve taken this test way back and took it again just a while back and I still got the same result, I’m still Choleric-Sanguine.

Reading through the descriptions of my two dominant temperaments most of them were really on point so I guess this is really me. Looking back, however,  I wondered why I became such a person. One distinct memory I can recall of my childhood was a scene from the series “Mula sa Puso” starring Claudine Barreto and Rico Yan where Princess Punzalan’s character, the kontrabida in the story, was doing her evil laugh. I really admired her character there because she has such a strong personality. She became so effective as a kontrabida so much so that Mula Sa Puso became a nationwide hit. Even up to the point when people who see Princess in public would throw water at her in anger. Princess on the other hand never complained because it only meant that she was effective in her delivery of her character. I realized that ever since then I’ve loved kontrabida roles. Back when I was still acting in theater I always auditioned for the kontrabida roles and mostly I get the part, yey! When other actors scramble for the lead I always wanted to be the villain. Their characters are just too interesting while lead roles are just boring damsels in distress with no minds of their own. I wanted action and thrill, so villain roles have always been my thing. But that always made me wonder, why? Why do I love such characters so much? Was it because they are the ones who give life to the story or was it because they have such strong personalities like mine or was it because they, though not many people see it, have far more interesting stories to tell?

Let’s backtrack a little to Princess Punzalan’s character in Mula Sa Puso. Her name was Selina and she was Claudine’s aunt. As far as I can remember she was a half-sister of Claudine’s father or maybe illegitimate, I’m not sure. All I know is that she was never fully welcomed in the family which made her insecure when Claudine’s character was born. Moreover, the fact that Claudine’s mother was just an ordinary woman added to her insecurities even more. Whatever her reason was, she viewed Claudine and her mother as threats to her security in her very own family that she wanted so much to dispose of them. It was self-preservation that drove her to do such things because she was insecure, jealous and most of all frightened that she will lose her status in the family and that nobody would care for her after that. Her character’s whirlwind of emotions is more interesting to understand than that of Claudine’s who is just a damsel, unaware of things and living only in the pain of the moment. Princess’ character has deeper more budding issues. I believe that Princess, when she was internalizing her character, felt sorry for her. Sorry because she had so much hate in her heart and mostly sorry because she couldn’t let them go. Just like a popular saying: “Hurt people hurt others.” That is the reason why kontrabidas are born and why they do what they do. People on the other hand just see their actions and not their reasons. They never even bothered to understand why they were doing such things. I, on the other hand, want so much to understand. That’s why sometimes whenever the kontrabida loses, I pity them. Not that I wanted them to win but it’s just that they aren’t given the closure that they need most of the time. Their lives are left hanging. They end up sad and lonely and I pity them. So the main question therefore is why do I empathize with such characters so much? Well, because I am just like them.

This Choleric-Sanguine personality of mine, the very strong person that almost everyone who sees me does not even need my results to know which temperament I belong to was not in-born. It was a direct result of the many rejections and hurts that I have been through in my life. A personality that developed as a tool to diminish the hurt and the pain that are involved with the lack of love in my life. When I was growing up, I was pressured to become the best in everything. I never really wanted to be. I just wanted a simple life but then parents think that it is always better if their children aimed for the best. So I was told. I had to outdo everyone so I developed the personality of always wanting to be the best. I was competitive. I was driven to be the best in every possible way and whenever I fall short of their expectations, there goes the rejection. Sometimes it hurts more to hear it from the people you love compared to hearing it from others but that’s just what it is. Because I didn’t want to feel the pain, I built that very thick wall of ‘ignoring’ everything. I developed the personality to dominate, the Choleric side. If I do dominate, then I’d be loved by those I care about. I dismissed every kind of weakness that I know. Being emotional, being too kind, being compassionate, and most especially falling in love because for me weaknesses lead to failures. If I succeed, I won’t get rejected. That’s what I thought.

Come College, I still took with me that personality. I didn’t fit in that much. Afraid of rejection again I toned the Choleric side of me down a notch and developed the Sanguine side. I still maintained the Choleric one but not as much as I did during my teenage years. That was when I realized that I can turn my weaknesses into strengths. Being emotional and compassionate can make me a better listener and a better leader. Being kind can make me more patient and ultimately have people rely on me more. I realized that being strong was just a first step. Admitting that you are weak is also another form of strength, albeit a stronger form of it. So I ended up with this mixed Choleric-Sanguine personality. But aside from that I realized one more important thing: That I didn’t need anyone’s approval to become a person worthy to be loved because I already am.

Due to this I’ve come to understand more about people and their actions. I realized that nobody was born evil or bad. That everyone is shaped by their environment and mostly by the people who surround them. I understand and like kontrabidas because I know where they are coming from. They are just people who are afraid to loose everything that’s why they try their hardest to keep what they can even up to the point of hurting others just so they can avoid hurting themselves. That was me before and I am just thankful that I met people who changed my life and my perspective of things. I hope that people with the same experiences also find those people who will understand them and who will stick with them. What these people need is someone to be with them. Who will assure them that no matter what, they will remain and not leave them or people who will show them that they are already amazing people and that there is no need to become insecure about anything. Only love can heal their wounds, love from others, from themselves and ultimately from God. Knowing that someone loves you unconditionally no matter who you are is the greatest realization that someone can ever have.

I still like kontrabidas and I still would want to play such parts (if ever I am given the chance, showbiz dreams. Woh!) because I want people to realize that everyone is fighting their own battles. Not because you find what they do repulsive means that they do not have their reasons for doing so. Most of the time, their reasons are even deeper and more hurtful than one could imagine. I want the world to understand that kontrabida personalities, often are just frightened people who needs people/others to tell them not to be afraid. Most of the time, those who have the strongest personalities are really the weakest ones. Remembering all these brings me to tears somehow and I am literally writing with a heavy heart. People always see me as a strong, secure, confident, and principled person but that’s just the outer layer. Maybe I became that because I no longer want to be insecure so I try to look at positive things even if the whole world disagrees. Like kontrabidas I am fighting a battle all on my own. So even if the world tells me that I am not worth it, I will still think otherwise. I will continue to love me for who I am because if I don’t I’ll get insecure and jealous and frightened and scared and I might end up hating the whole world for that. I don’t want that. So although deep inside the insecurities are many and the doubts are great, I will still tell myself that, “Hey, it’s okay. You are definitely worth it. You were born for a purpose, a great one. You are a great and beautiful person.” This is not because I am overconfident in myself but because I really am not. Who else will tell me otherwise? Unlike kontrabidas I refuse to wait for that person who will coax be out of my shell and tell me that I am a beautiful person worthy to be loved when I can believe that I already am on my own especially since I know that I am already receiving unconditional love from above. I refuse to remain Choleric-Sanguine yet frightened, doubtful and insecure. I want to be better. I want to be Choleric-Sanguine but hopeful, optimistic and kind. And I want the world to know that even kontrabidas want to be loved and are the kind of people who are willing and able to love unconditionally given the right chance and the right person. The world just needs to give them a chance.

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This Full Blast Week: Rocket Ship to Happiness

There is definitely nothing better than the official last week of classes. (Although we still have one make-up class tomorrow, it’s still final classes week for me) This whole week was filled with nothing but good vibes from start to finish. It definitely felt like I was in a rocket ship leading only to happiness and all I did was just sit back and relax. This week deserves to be called the FULL BLAST week indeed. To recap, just like my previous Weekend recaps post, I’ll start by summarizing the week’s highlights first and end with my own version of ‘Sunday Currently‘. (Let’s call it ‘Sunday Recap’ instead. Couldn’t think of a better term.)

HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Monday, the time when Alden implicitly admitted that he was ‘falling’ for Maine certainly made my day. Plus the laglag that Lola Nidora made with these two, EPIC! And the news that I got from a classmate who has a legit AlDub BTS source just made this alleged ‘confession’  more believable. (Sorry guys, they asked to keep the matter private. Let’s just say that I am now 85% sure that the ‘confession’ was REAL.)

2. Tuesday, I missed the AlDub forum held at UP Palma Hall. Wah, so close yet so far! But despite that I was glad that our Professor extended our class and finished the entire coverage that day. That only means that there’s no more make up class needed and we’re officially free! Of this class, at least.

3. Wednesday, we officially ended two more classes plus the news about our final exams for both classes really made me see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. There was hope! Also, this was the night when I met three of my favorite celebrity chefs and had a foodie night out with friends. (see previous blog post for details: Foodie Night Out published on Nov 25, 2015) I couldn’t be happier.

4. Thursday, no classes so it was KS time! It was supposed to be Maine and Alden’s 19th weeksary but the episode was just so sad. With Alden and Cindy’s wedding on Saturday, I can imagine Maine’s pain. But despite that I know that in the end, KS will deliver the Saturday episode really well and full of great lessons as usual. This was also Maine’s first appearance in a TV series for Princess in the Palace. I am really excited to see her act for the first time (with script and taped) outside of KS in the next episodes.

5. Friday, Last day of Nego. Although class started relatively earlier than the usual (@ 8AM) I still love the fact that that was it. So that’s four down, one more to go. Oh, we got to sing for our teacher. Darn was I nervous. P.S. It was another sad KS episode. But it only meant that the Saturday episode will blow the nation’s mind away once more.

6. Saturday, not the last day of Succession but I was happy that I finally got called for recitations. That only means that I don’t need to ‘fully’ study (meaning I can just browse through the readings and not really study that much of the cases) for Monday’s ‘last’ class because of the rounds-system that we have. But since I’m such a sport I volunteered to recite on Monday hoping I’d get to recite only the part that I digested. Wow, here I go again with the volunteering. Hay naku! :/ Also, Saturday was the “supposed” Wedding of Alden and Cindy and the episode was delivered amazingly well. Kudos to the KS staff for another great episode! Although I found the ‘amnesia’ part to be a little cliche. The lessons are definitely fit for today’s generation. Fight for love in the best way possible. When it comes to choosing between love and family, one should at least try to have both since both are very important to a person’s life. Very bitin yes, as usual, especially the last part. (see below) The genuine reactions, the tight embrace, the almost-kiss. Ugh! This only means that I have more to look forward to next week.

7. Finally, today. Not much happened. Due to unexpected circumstances, my “laag” with my College friends got canceled. Manila’s a hard place to have/plan a get together in especially when all of you are not that familiar with the routes and places. Cebu’s a much easier place to navigate because its such a small city. Today would have been a fun day but still I believe that there was a reason why the ‘get together’ did not happen. Maybe I needed more rest, or I needed more time to study for the ‘last” class tomorrow. I don’t know. All, I know is that I don’t feel that much regret that I didn’t get to spend time with my friends. Not that I don’t miss them, I do, much more than anything else. (These people are not just ordinary friends. They’ve been my family for my whole College life, 4 years in total, while I was away from mine and vice versa. Maybe it’s because all of us came from provinces and we only had each other to lean on. We definitely have a very strong bond that’s not easy to break.) I miss them so much but maybe I needed the alone time for now especially with finals coming up. I’ll get to see them soon. Besides true friendship, no matter the  time or distance, never fades and that’s what we have so no matter how long it takes, the reunion (at the perfect time) will be so worth it. I miss you so much guys! Hope you enjoyed your short vacay in Manila. 😀

To end, here’s my Sunday and the Week Recently (Yes, finally thought of a term!) summary:

Best Read:
None. I haven’t read that much lately except cases and required readings for my subjects and all of them were boring. Well, class materials, even if they were interesting, really have that power to draw all the interest away. The fact that it’s a required reading automatically classifies them under ‘boring and not entertaining’. Told you I never liked studying.

Best Written:
My Succession digests (the last of them, finally!) I literally put in a lot of time and effort to make this last set of digest worth it. It was comprehensive enough to land anyone who uses it a good grade in recitations. Wah! Bragging here! Haha. But seriously, I really liked how they turned out although I was a bit late in submitting them but hey, they were definitely worth the time.

LSS of the Week:
1. Sana Ikaw na Nga by Vina Morales c/o my Nego seatmate who was humming I Believe I Can Fly and me mishearing it for the former song. Now the opening verse is stuck in my mind on repeat.
2. Triangulo by Thyro Alfaro, Yumi Lacsama and Jeric Medina. I downloaded this from Spotify and I just love the wit of this song. “Kahit ilang beses mong i-try, i-try, i-TRY(I) ANG GULO-gulo, ang gulo-gulo.” See?
3. Locked Away by R. City and Adam Levine because Alden sang it in KS last Monday and I love the lyrics. Just the Chorus part though.
4. Minamahal by Sarah Geronimo because of a vid posted by AlDub Nation where this song was used as background. When I heard the whole song the first thought that came to my mind was, “I can use this as a vow for my wedding.”  Ayiieeeee…..

Thought for the Week:
Last week of classes! WOOOHHHHH!!!!!!!

Wished for the week to have been:
Nothing more, nothing less. This week has been perfect for me.

OOTW (Outfit of the Week):
I mostly went formal for this week since it’s the last week of classes and I expected that there will be a lot of picture taking involved. Apparently, it has been a class tradition that we take a photo with our professors on the last day of class after we give him/her a farewell token/gift. The only professor to whom we did not do this was with our Credit professor, not because we didn’t like her, we did. She was one of our favorites. It was because she was not into such stuff. She ‘rumor has it’ prefers to keep her relationship with students professional and doesn’t even bother to remember our names or faces which was fine. She does not like to receive gifts or take photos. We just respected her view of things.

Loved:
The fact that the semester is finally near its end. That pretty much sums it all.

Wanted to:
Go on that ‘get together’ with my College friends but things happen for a reason. I’ll just have to wait for the next time we get that opportunity. 🙂 Also, I want to finally try Starbucks Red Cups Peppermint Mocha. I want to know if they were really worth the wait. 😀

Needed to:
Rest, in preparation for the finals and for the upcoming puyat study sessions. Haha.

Felt:
Relieved that it’s almost over. YAAAASSSS!!!!! #HappyGirl

Hoping Next Week to be:
Not as stressful as I expect it will be. STUDY MODE on. Waaaahhh!!!!

 

So that was my full blast week. How has yours been?

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Foodie Night Out

Aside from the fact that we have officially ended a total of 3 out of 5 subjects that I am currently taking for this semester, there is another reason why this particular Wednesday night definitely deserves a post in this blog.

Has anyone here heard of a cooking series called ‘Ka-Toque’ which was once aired on Channel 27 a few years back? If you are on of the lucky few who had then you’d probably know the name Chef Rosebud. I, for one, am a fan of the show and aside from Chef Jonas and Chef Mitchie, my particular favorite was Chef Rosebud Benitez. So, imagine my glee when I learned that one of my blockmates in school was her daughter. I immediately wanted to be friends with her so that I will get the opportunity to meet her mother. But despite my ‘sinister’ plot to befriend her just so I can meet her mom, we easily became friends nonetheless just because she really is a genuinely kind and friendly person. That is despite the fact that she knows about me being a fan of her mom.

So you’d think I met her mother right after we became friends, right? Wrong! Only after 2 years and 1 semester later (i.e. today) did I get the opportunity to meet the ever elusive celebrity Chef Rosebud. (Even if you are a friend of a certain celebrity’s relative, it will still take time for you to get to meet them. Welcome to the showbiz world!) This is thanks to the event held by their culinary school CCA where celebrity chefs who are also alumni of the school held a cook off and put up stalls where they can sell their food. All the proceeds, I heard, go to a fund that will help some students who are scholars of CCA.  One of these stalls was managed by Chef Rosebud and for the first time I finally got to taste some of her recipes, specifically Dynamite Sisig Rolls with Binagoongan Rice and Sarciadong Mangga plus free Ice Cream for only Php 190.00. Oh, sulit di ba?  I also got to try food from the other stalls (like grilled pork and liver barbecue with butter rice) and even got to take home a box of juicy roasted beef for FREE (Emphasis on the free thanks to Chef Rosebud) which my roommates easily devoured the moment I got home. My foodie self has never been this much satisfied in just one night.

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So tonight definitely deserves a post because finally I got to not only meet but also talk, take a picture and get to know the pretty Chef Rosebud (who looks so much like her daughter BTW. Or is it the other way around? Nah, who cares. Basta, they both look alike.)

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Not only that I also got to meet and take a picture with Chef Tristan Encarnacion, another one of my favorite celebrity chefs, through the help of Chef Rosebud. (Kasi nilaglag ako ng classmate ko sa mommy niya. Panay sabing ‘crush’ ko raw si Chef Tristan. Wah nahiya tuloy ako!) When we took a picture together only one thing crossed my mind, Ang tangkad niya! (see photo below) Nanliit tuloy ako. Haha. But it was all worth it. I didn’t get to take a picture with Chef JP Anglo though,  another favorite of mine, because he was busy grilling food for their stall but seeing him there was enough in itself to make this night one heck of a blast.

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To end, I’d like to thank Kat Cabanos (Chef Rosebud’s daughter and my blockmate) for telling me about this event and for being kind enough to drive me home after that. No wonder we’re friends. Haha. Jk! But honestly, I truly enjoyed this night. With all that food, who wouldn’t right? Also, special mention to Christian (Kat’s BF) for the company.

Today marks the half of the last week of classes and what better way to celebrate it than with a Foodie Night Out with friends made more special by the fact that we were served by the country’s top celebrity chefs. I definitely couldn’t ask for more. Thanks so much Kat and Chef Rosebud! 🙂

The A(E)PEC Recap. Get it, A(E)pic? No? Okay.

Yes corny as it may sound I did think about this title even before I decided to make a recap of this week’s happenings. I once heard a reporter say it in the news: “An APEC recap” and I heard ‘Epic’. Sorry medyo bingi ang lola niyo. But yes, that was how it started. No matter what, I still find it funny. Okay! Moving on. So how’s my week been, you ask? (by YOU, I mean the hypothetical and imaginary people who probably read my blog located in a different planet/reality from where I currently am) It’s been fun because it’s a 4-day Holiday, minus one which we spent for a make-up class in Tax. There are three things that defined this week by the way and those are:

  1. School
  2. KS and movies
  3. Food

So SCHOOL. Aside from the make-up classes I did attempt (albeit a failure) to study for Final exams which are up two weeks from now. Yay! *note the sarcasm* So all in all I think I spent 20% of my week on School, what an achievement for a Holiday Break! *Pats self on the back*

KS and MOVIES. KS or Kalyeserye (You know the famous AlDub loveteam? Yes, that one. Okay judgement time!) will be a constant happening for every week, especially with how the story’s been unfolding recently. That is because I need all the GV I can get with all the stress and BV that is Malcolm-brought. You cannot imagine the amount of gloom that building holds. Whew! Anyone who is sensitive to energies/ auras and stuff like that would definitely make a run for it. So KS it is. Movies watched for this week are: Paddington, Now You See Me, Lucy, Jack the Giant Slayer, Inside Out, The Duff and The Martian. That’s actually a lot compared to my other boring weeks. Haha. So all in all this comprised 60% of my time this week and though I feel a little bit guilty I still would say I’d do it over again! I couldn’t be happier.

Last, FOOD. I cooked for this week a variety of dishes. See my IG for a sneak peak. My roommate, who is this household’s alternative cook aside from me, is unfortunately out on a retreat so all the cooking was left to me. Not that I minded it. I had an ‘almost’ whole week break after all. I love how I learned how to cook in just a span of 4 months and can now do my own recipes. Contrary to what I thought before, I don’t suck at it. Everyone in my family cooks, except for me so I guess it was just laziness talking and I really had the talent all along. My roommates say that my dishes are tasty so yes I’m bragging a little. Hehe. So as of this moment, this comprised 30% of my time for the week.

That was how I spent the APEC(Epic), sorry I just had to, Holiday. Not much I must say but hey, I was a bit productive, right? *Note to self: Agree to yourself all the time. In that way you’ll feel less bad.*

So that’s my Recap for this week, my first. Really fulfilling. 🙂 But wait, there’s more! I made a format for a Weekend Recap that is a bit similar to the format of the Sunday Currently blog formats that has been popular on blog sites nowadays. I just tweaked it a little bit. Instead of “Currently”, it will be a recap of the whole week so everything will be in past tense but still CTTO for this one.

Best Read:
My PIL readings on International Human Rights. It’s quite interesting how they have a lot of these rules and sanctions but can’t seem to impose them. The international stage is definitely not an easy one to manage especially without a ruling world government. Wondering what it would be like to have one though?

Best Written:
My new blog. I just started this week and I am on fire. I really hope that doesn’t die down or snuff out eventually.

LSS of the Week:
I Was Made For Loving You by Tori Kelly. The refrain and chorus part just keeps popping into my head for no apparent reason. I think it’s the tune that keeps me hooked to this song. Amazing song and lyrics by the way. Clap. Clap.

Thought for the Week:
It’s almost Finals. Torn between Ugh and Yay! Ugh because I’d be studying non-stop from now on and Yay ’cause after that is my long-awaited Christmas break! WOOHHOOOO!

Wished for the week to have been:
More academically linked, maybe. That’s the only thing I feel guilty about but knowing me I’d do the same thing over again. Post-finals jitters. I get tired of studying and later on cram them all during finals week. Lazy crammer.

OOTW (Outfit of the Week):
I mostly wore the new clothes I bought for this month. My new addition to my new wardrobe style. I’m ditching the t-shirts and replacing them with blouses and other ‘more formal’ attire in preparation for the real world. Can’t have me wearing a t-shirt in the office.

Loved:
Now You See Me. It is an amazing movie. I watched it two times in a row. That’s how much I love it.

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Wanted to:
Record the song that I wrote for the AlDub Songwriting Contest but it’s really hard if you don’t have the right equipment. I would need a Mac Laptop but that’s just too expensive for my current lifestyle. Someday, soon, I’d get one. I am hoping to get one for free (i.e. a company prize, a contest prize, or a sponsor) Haha. Those dreams.

Needed to:
Inspire myself to love studying more, even just for the last weeks of this semester. I need to become more studious now more than ever. So I’m starting to lie to and convince myself that I actually love to study. Good luck with that!

Felt:
Distracted. The holiday break is the only thing on my mind right now. I can’t even concentrate on anything else. Tsk!

Hoping Next Week to be:
Me feeling less guilty for not being able to study as much as I needed to. Inspiration where the heck are you????


So, how’s your week been?

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Now You Don’t

I just finished transferring all of my previous blog posts to this new blog of mine and I feel very much accomplished. Not to mention I also finished watching the movie recommended to me by my roommate, Now You See Me, and I am more than amazed with this movie. It is literally a work of genius. I did not even expect that plot twist at the end. So I only have great comments for this movie.

Now You See Me is for me a must-watch for everyone. There are absolutely no dull moments that you can find when watching this movie. Sorry I won’t be posting spoilers here so that everyone can enjoy the entire movie in its fullest. If you already watched the movie you’d get why my post title is as such. But seriously, this post will not be about the movie but just my take on that one line in the movie said by Morgan Freeman’s character:

“The need to know is greater than the desire to be fooled.”

Honestly, that line stuck to my head like glue the moment I heard it. Do you know why? Because that one line says a lot about how we function as humans. Personally, I think, that the greatest desire that we have as human beings is not really fame, money, or even fulfillment. Most of the time, it is our need for knowledge. All the other things that I just mentioned are just superfluous desires that we have but nothing beats the desire for knowledge. The knowledge that I am talking about is not just that of the academic aspect but knowledge of things that particularly interest us. For example, for scientists, the desire to know more about nature and the Earth is everything. For philosophers, the constantly seek knowledge about the world. For the laymen, the need to know about one’s purpose in life and how one can become more than just a speck of dust on this Earth is actually each of our heart’s desire. Taking it to a more common level: for fandoms, their desire is to know more about their idols and if what they see on screen is actually REAL or just REEL. I’d have to admit this to myself, I really want to know about certain things even more than I want fame, power, richness or glory. Knowledge is priceless. It is a commodity that each person wants but not all can possibly get. Why do you think mysteries are so alluring? Or why do you think unsolved and unexplained phenomena continue to bewilder our thoughts? Because the need to know is so great we just can’t help it.

I took a class back in Undergrad where we took up this one philosopher named Michel Foucalt. One thing I can always remember about him is that he stated that, “Power is knowledge and knowledge is power.” This means that those who have power dictate knowledge and those who have knowledge have the power, and it’s an endless circle of power to knowledge and vice versa. Knowledge is therefore something that we inherently desire. We might not know about it consciously but if we just think about it, we really desire for it, no matter what kind or form it is as long as it is something that interests us. The need to know about certain things is definitely greater than anything.

Cases in point:

  1. The clamor for Government transparency (e.g. the FOI bill)
  2. The need to know where our taxes are spent on or if they just go to our leader’s pockets (see: Pork Barrel Scam)
  3. The never-ending chismis about public personalities
  4. The desire for AlDub fans for BTS pictures (Haha. Guilty here!); and the most famous example of all —-
  5. The desire to know whether or not he/she loves you too. (LOL) 😀

So yes, knowledge is a desire we all have and it’s a good thing. For when a person stops desiring to learn or know more about something is when he/she has truly given up on everything.

(I just realized that my post title has absolutely nothing to do with my topic. But who cares, right? It’s my blog and I can do anything I want in it. *Z snaps in the air* Take that nerds!)

Bucket List (To be updated as circumstances provide) {11/19/2015}

This is a list of things that I would like to do/ achieve before I die. Most of them are probably out of reach but I’m just putting them out there in case the Universe takes a glimpse at them and decides to conspire. (Hopefully!) Just like in the book “The Secret”, if you want something make a physical visualization of it. So here I am writing them down for the whole world to see. How much more physical can you get, right? So these are my dreams, aspirations and secret desires. Hello Universe and the Ruler of it all … I won’t ask that all of the items in the list be complied, that would be too much to ask for but I really hope, wish and pray that somehow, someday I’d be able to cross out some (most) of the items on this list. *Fingers crossed and palms together in diligent prayer*

1. Sing Mandy Moore’s ‘Only Hope’ with live piano accompaniment. (without making a fool out of myself, hahaha)

2. Go to Enchanted Kingdom AND Star City.

3. Watch a PETA production.

4. Watch a live musical: Les Miserables, Wicked, Miss Saigon, West Side Story, etc.

5. Watch a movie in IMax.

6. Sing at an open mic without my knees shaking.

7. Audition for a theater production.

8. Get into a PETA workshop.

9. Go to Disneyland. (HK or USA)

10. Go to Paris, France.

11. Learn a foreign language. (Japanese, French or Spanish)

12. Extra in a local/international movie. (International talaga? Harhar)

13. Produce/ record my own song.

14. Have one of my books published.

15. Extra in a television series. (Kahit one time big time lang o!)

16. Take and hopefully pass the FSE.

17. Pass the Bar exam.

18. Own a restaurant/ cafe.

19. Own a mansion. (actually just a simple 2 storey, 4 bedroom house would be fine. Hehe)

20. Have a million pesos in my bank account. 🙂 (for emergency? Lol)

21. Dub/Voice a Disney character (kahit minor role lang)

22. Play Mystery Manila (added 03/08/2016)

23. A Forever perhaps?

Fun Facts Time (11/11/2015)

Random fun facts about me that I decided to share. (Because I’ve got nothing better to do. Lol. 😀 )

1. I normally sit in an Indian/ Japanese squat pose even while on a chair. However, if I get the opportunity to stretch out my legs and raise them on another chair/table then it’d be my preferred option, subject to certain circumstances of course.

2. I love to pamper myself. (i.e. getting a good bath with a loofa and a sweet smelling shower gel, getting a massage (whole body), a DIY/serviced mani-pedi, good food/food tripping, a long and quiet rest, a movie/series/Anime marathon)

3. I am an Otaku!

4. I try hard to be kind to all (really hard!) but I don’t like to force myself on people nor do I try to please those who are obviously not pleased with me. If they don’t like me, that’s it. Period. Let’s just keep it civil.

5. I love to sing …. Alone or in a choir (as long as my voice won’t be heard by others) Shy type. Haha. (but I have this secret ultimate dream to become a Broadway/Musical theater actress) <— I love to act too. (this one I’m not shy of)

6. I get tired easily. That’s because of my unfortunate physical make-up. You can’t argue with genetics.

7. I don’t eat okra and/or marang.

8. Sobrang labo ng mata ko. (as of this writing, I’m nearsighted with a 175 grade for glasses)

9. Normally, I am never lady-like even when I’m wearing a skirt (as long as I have shorts underneath). Exception: mandatory formal occasions and performances

10. I can’t live without music but I also value quiet time (for deep thought and meditation)

11. Favorite food: Chicken (any part, except the head)

12. I love soya (soya milk, taho) except tofu <— Ugh!

13. I believe first impressions NEVER LAST!
Case in point:
a. I never liked smartphones now I can’t have a phone that isn’t one.
b. I did not like a person’s attitude at first but now we’re the closest of friends
c. I liked a person the instant we met and now she’s the coldest.
NOPE, THEY NEVER LAST!!!

14. I am easily friend-zoned by guys so I never expect much whenever I meet a guy, especially if he’s good looking/ the too-good-to-be-true type.

15. There are 4 people I can never stand to be with:
a. people who repeat their mistakes and stupid acts without ever learning
b. people who back stab
c. people who are disloyal
d. people who only get my hopes up. (Mga paasa.)

So that’s it. I actually want to share more but I’m tired. Besides, who would even bother to read this anyway? Haha. Not unless I actually become famous someday. Hahay, dreams! 🙂

Freedom (10/28/2015)

Medyo nasayangan lang ako sa fact na delayed ako ggraduate pero something inside me is telling me that I really need to drop this subject. First time I’d be tainting my scholastic record since I started school so it’s really heartbreaking but hey, I’m not perfect. Sorry to disappoint you guys. I’m apparently not the perfect student you thought I am, in fact, I never was. I’ve never been studious. I hate exams. I hate academics but people think otherwise. Well, now’s probably the time to debunk everything that people thought about me. But even if I do get delayed, it won’t be such a big deal since I’ve technically graduated and can work anytime I want. Law school is just a superfluous vindication of me wanting to achieve more in life by becoming a professional. But hey, I can live without it right? The truth is I’m a bit sad right now because this will be the first time that I gave up on my academic responsibilities and ironically, the reason for me doing so is not even at all related to the academic aspect. You’ll see why in a while.

Imagine: instead of a 1 and 1/2 hour class for two days a week you are ‘obliged’ to attend an 8 hour class on a Saturday, a 1 and 1/2 hour class on Friday and now, a ‘probably’ another 4 hour class on a Thursday. This is just for a 3 unit subject per week. Add to that, whenever there’s a holiday, we are ‘encouraged’ (but in reality mandated) to hold another 8 hour long class… ON A HOLIDAY! The only deterrent I know of is a class suspension made by the LGU due to storms and floods. Also, come APEC summit (that almost week long vacay all students are looking forward to?) No can do with his professor. She declared, we’re going to have classes! I don’t know whether that would be everyday of that week but that definitely is a strong possibility. With this scenario, it’s as if she’s the only class we have for this semester.

There are actually a few exemplary people who can survive and did but I don’t think I’d be willing to sacrifice that much of my time and health for one subject alone. Especially since I’m the type of person who needs my rest and recreation or else I get burned out. This type of education is definitely not for me. Academically wise I know I’m capable of passing her subject (personal assessment based on my standing) but I know that if I pushed through I’d just be miserable in the end. Sure, if I pass I’d probably forever hold that badge of honor on my shoulder but no, I’d rather have my sanity intact than to fight for an honor I don’t even need and doesn’t even matter to most people anyway. Yes being a survivor in this class is definitely a great feat for people in my college but outside, it’s just small talk. So I’m getting my well-deserved freedom back. Come Friday this week, the perfect all-A student everyone presumed me to be will be gone! Goodbye to the ‘supposed’ intellectual that I am. Being that held up in that pressurized ivory tower has been my trap ever since. People like me whom others see as capable of achieving great things just because of smarts are never content and never happy. I realized that way back but I had no way of escaping it. The pressure and the expectations of everyone. It’s stiffening to some point but now I can openly declare that sorry to disappoint everyone, I’m not really intellectual at all! Never was, never will be and I’m glad to be average. Sometimes being an average person actually makes you happier than others. I’m content to say that I’m not intelligent (compared toy law school classmates) and I may be average but I am happier. Happy people are the best people. They are actually better at dealing with life than others. So as between success and happiness, I’d always choose the latter. (Which the past me would never do, times have indeed changed)

Hey Future One (10/27/2015)

Hi mula dito sa outerspace! Hehe. Wala lang, just wanted to post this in case a possible future someone eventually reads this someday. Di ko alam kung nadadala lang ba ako ng pagkahumaling ko sa AlDub o baka naffeel ko na din na malapit na ang aking tamang panahon. Yun ang feeling ko ngayon eh, na malapit na siyang mangyari. Konting push na lang, mga 5 years na lang? Haha. Pero anyways, yun yun. So I’m posting a message for you, whoever you are. Hey future someone, I hope that when you arrive you won’t think that you can easily sweep me off my feet. Fragile ang puso ko, mahirap na. I’m currently guarding my heart so I might come off aloof and uncaring pero front lang yun. Baka naman deep inside kinikilig na talaga ako. Haha. Kung minsan magmamaldita ako, okay lang yun. That means I’m hiding something. Because if I really don’t have feelings I either laugh at the thought or ignore it completely. A violent reaction will therefore tell you something else. Honestly, I still feel na hindi pa ako handa umibig. Sino ba naman ang ready na talaga di ba? Pero seriously, I will be very doubtful at first. Not just about you but about myself as well. I tried before, got hurt, now I want to make sure that this future one will last forever. Naniniwala kasi ako dun. Sa forever. So please be patient with me. Naniniwala ako sa tamang panahon so most likely di ako mag.rrespond agad-agad sa feelings mo. Most importantly, I believe that it’s better to wait for the right one that will last than to begin something abruptly that will eventually fade away. I believe in the right moment: the right person, at the right time. So if you really are ready and willing to love me for who I am, please be patient. Darating ang lahat sa tamang panahon.

Lastly, if you’re reading this now: I’m traditional. I believe in the traditional version of courtship. If you know what I mean.

Love and see you soon.

This is Not a Craze, It’s a Phenomenon (An AlDub Article) {9/23/2015}

All avid watchers of Eat Bulaga would definitely relate to this post because I’ll be talking about the latest love team phenomenon which started as an “accident” on the Philippine’s longest running noontime show Eat Bulaga. Yes, you got it right. This post will be related to the phenomenon of AlDub, the sensational love team of Alden Richards (Richard Faulkerson, Jr.) and Yaya Dub (Maine Mendoza).

As for me, I have watched them since Day 1. Thanks to the Academic Calendar Shift of my University, it was still our “summer”/midyear break when this phenomenon started. My parents are avid watchers of EB (Eat Bulaga) and the TV is always on during its air time. Suddenly these two people “accidentally” discovered that they had a wonderful chemistry on screen with Yaya Dub getting all flustered and “kilig” the moment she realized that Alden was watching her on screen doing her dubsmash antics. This is the moment which started it all. Those widening of eyes and covering of the face which signifies Yaya Dub’s genuine emotions made this craze turn into a phenomenon.

Personally, I am not a shipper of love teams because I know most, if not all of them, are fake anyway. However, this time it’s completely different. These two were not put together by some network. They were not shipped by commercials or advertisements or even telenovelas or soaps. They discovered it on their own. Like I said, it was “accidental”. I, on the other hand, am a shipper in real life (a shipper of real life love teams). In high school I would often pair off people whom many in the end would admit to their feelings for each other. Some act upon those feelings, others continue to ignore them and eventually dismiss them for fear of what might happen if ever they do end up together. I would therefore say that when I see people together I can immediately tell if a person likes another. (Unfortunately, this talent/skill does not apply to me due to personal biases and prejudices that come up whenever the topic is myself. Bummer!) So when I observed them  for a whole week I knew then and there that Yaya Dub really has feelings for Alden. Although it’s just a crush on her part, at least its something right. Alden too has displayed a certain level of affection for his partner although he’s definitely holding back. Maybe because of fear or doubt or other stuff I don’t know about but the fact is he’s holding back. I am pretty sure he’s interested in her, his body language says so… a lot! But he’s holding back on completely falling for her which is why I’m a bit frustrated at him. However, I understand the fact that you can never really like someone completely if you haven’t met them personally or talked to them privately.

I like how EB is actually developing their story which is they’re trying to figure out whether or not the two are actually compatible through tests and games which makes the story even more interesting and romantic as it goes on. I admire the writers for doing so since this is definitely not an easy task. The show is live and airs 6 times a day which is even more than that of your ordinary soap and yet they have kept the story developing and more interesting as time passes by. This definitely is an arduous task to fulfill and all my praise and applause goes to the wonderful creative team of this Kalyeserye phenomenon. I really admire them to the point that I honestly want to join their team. Ugh, why did I even proceed? hehe. But true, I have never been this enthusiastic about teleserye creative teams/ writers. I even complain about their incompetency. Check my past blog posts for reference. Yet, for this series (the AlDub series) I am very much hooked and intrigued by how creative they are. At least that gives me hope that or entertainment business is not dead.

On a last note, I’d like to commend the creative team and EB for using this phenomenon to teach valuable lessons to children. This is definitely a good way of using all the fame and the money that comes from this. None of our current teleseryes have this on their deck. They simply tell stories and that’s that but in Kalyeserye, you actually get to learn about the old Filipino ways and the way that the Filipinos are supposed to act. Call me traditionalist I don’t care but I still hold our Filipino values especially about women close to my heart. My friend has called me sexist but who cares? I definitely believe in the old ways of courting and the fact that true love waits. At least in love and the family, I believe in the old gender roles assigned to us by our ancestors. I am liberal on the other aspects such as career, education, work, politics and other stuff but when it comes to love, it should always be the guy who would pursue. I’ve tried pursuing myself but it’s really hard. Although in the end you can tell yourself that you did your best, it would still hurt. (Disclaimer: *this comment is not in my original post* But as per my previous blog post: It’s okay for the girl to make the first move. At least there will be no regrets in the end. But even if there are no regrets, it would still hurt/ Trust me, that was the time when I got drunk so hard I had to vomit. I swear I’d never repeat that mistake ever again. But hey, it’s the 21st century. So, girl power. Hooray! I actually don’t mind telling the guy first as long as I know he’s worth it.)

I also firmly believe that when a guy falls, he falls completely. So it’s always better (I didn’t say must) if the guy is the one who is more in love in a relationship. This answers all the abuse and martyr problems that we have in our country. If a woman chooses a guy who loves her more, then the probability of him hurting her would be closer to nil. So I am grateful to AlDub for doing so. I just hope that Alden no longer hides behind his actor’s mask and just become genuine to his feelings. I wish he would stop fighting and just let go. Love can be a choice, it can be acted upon or not, but love is something that you can never control. You may choose not to show it but it will always be there whether you want it or not. So Alden, don’t fight. Just let go. I know you’re already there. You just refuse to open the door. Trust me, I know. 🙂